Classes Based on Stephen Covey's, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Two class series — one for adults and one for teens — based on Stephen Covey and Sean Covey's books
HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
Pages 201-246, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families: Building a Beautiful Family Culture in a Turbulent World, Stephen R. Covey, Golden Books, New York, NY, 1997
Pages 13, 163-180,
THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE TEEN: THE ULTIMATE TEENAGE SUCCESS GUIDE, Sean Covey, A Fireside Book, Simon & Schuste, 1998
Pages 16, 76-85, The 7 Habits of Effective Teens: THE MINIATURE EDITION, Sean Covey, 2002 • "Solving Family Problems Through Empathic Communication.”
• Key question for Habit 5: "Do I avoid autobiographical responses and instead faithfully reflect my understanding of the other person before seeking to be understood?" “This is the route habit: method, pathway to interdependent action.”
• Heart of Family Pain: MISunderstanding
• “Seeking to Understand: The Fundamental Deposit” in the “Emotional Bank Account”
• Know what constitutes a “deposit” in someone’s account
• Read together: “Don’t be fooled by me”
• “Overcoming negative baggage, anger, and offense” through “empathy (mirroring, summarizing, reflecting)” which enables “faithful translating”
• Biographical listening: one’s own frame of refereence
evaluate ignoring
proabe pretent listenting
advise selective listening
interpret attentive listing for response
Empathic listening: the other’s frame of reference (from within; not a technique)
• 2nd half: to be understood: will feedback help?
seek 1st to understand
separate person from behavior
sensitive to blind spots
“I” messages
• “Nurturing a Habit 5 Culture: feedback (what) and sequence (why and when)”
• Ground rule: Whever there is a difference or diasgreement, people can’t make their own point until they restate the other person’s point to that person’s satisfaction
• Sequence: what, why, when
listen, speak, synergy (Habit 6)