Peter J. Jessen

"Goals Per Action" Success Consultant · · 9931 SW 61st Ave., Portland, OR 97219 · Tel: 503.977.3240 · Fax: 503.977.3239

Classes Based on Stephen Covey's, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Two class series — one for adults and one for teens — based on Stephen Covey and Sean Covey's books



7 Habits    


Pages 201-246, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families:  Building a Beautiful Family Culture in a Turbulent World, Stephen R. Covey, Golden Books, New York, NY, 1997
Pages 13, 163-180, THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE TEEN: THE ULTIMATE TEENAGE SUCCESS GUIDE, Sean Covey, A Fireside Book, Simon & Schuste, 1998
Pages 16, 76-85, The 7 Habits of Effective Teens: THE MINIATURE EDITION, Sean Covey, 2002  • "Solving Family Problems Through Empathic Communication.”  

  • Key question for Habit 5:  "Do I avoid autobiographical responses and instead faithfully reflect my understanding of the other person before seeking to be understood?"    “This is the route  habit:  method, pathway to interdependent action.”

  •  Heart of Family Pain:  MISunderstanding

  • “Seeking to Understand:  The Fundamental Deposit” in the “Emotional Bank Account”

  •  Know what constitutes a “deposit” in someone’s account

  •  Read together:  “Don’t be fooled by me”

  •  “Overcoming negative baggage, anger, and offense” through “empathy (mirroring, summarizing, reflecting)” which enables “faithful translating”

  •  Biographical listening:  one’s own frame of refereence
              evaluate        ignoring
              proabe                 pretent listenting
              advise                  selective listening
              interpret               attentive listing for response

     Empathic listening:  the other’s frame of reference (from within; not a technique)

  •  2nd half:  to be understood: will feedback help?
                                                  seek 1st to understand
                                                  separate person from behavior
                                                  sensitive to blind spots
                                                  “I” messages

  •  “Nurturing a Habit 5 Culture:  feedback (what) and sequence (why and when)”

  •  Ground rule:  Whever there is a difference or diasgreement, people can’t make their own point until they restate the other person’s point to that person’s satisfaction

  •  Sequence:  what, why, when

                      listen, speak, synergy (Habit 6)